A prayer

Till last night…
I had a poem in my mind, a poem of my wishes
Till last night I wanted to write, but morning found me in blues,
I got up to find clouds, no sun; I could not find the dew.

O Lord! Tell me… Why do you see us in pain?
Why do I feel my emotions are running down the drain?
Why can’t love win, is it too hard to run through this lane?

I am surrounded by loneliness, am surrounded by hatred,
He is no more mine, do you even care?
I used to walk with a blindfold, as he held my hand to guide,
And now I walk alone, with darkness in front of my eyes,
I can’t see the light, how long is the tunnel?
I am losing hope, I am sick of the lies!

They say, how you can make someone so important,
That his absence, his dearth, gives agony?
O Lord! How can you not see what it feels inside?
When you don’t know what time will decide!

Am tired, shattered, drained,
I need strength, I need no pain,
Thee, please come to rescue,
I surrender my soul to you,
I need peace, I need solace,
I need serenity, I need to feel back what you took away,
Please fill this hollowness again,
Please take far away the pretence,
Either make me numb, O lord!
Or make me strong like a rock,
Emotionless, no feel, a dead heap of dust!
Let the zephyr blow me away, from this world to you…
Let me see the sun again, make me see the dew!

To be honest I don’t wanna feel that love again,
I don’t want to have a life again, if all it gives is heartache,
I don’t want him to come back, if he will leave again,
I am feeling so helpless; I am feeling so low,
Maa, why can’t you undo the sorrows?
Please hold me once and say that things will be alright,
Lord, please hug me once and tell me you are there,
I don’t wanna break, I mean it,
If your plans are to continue, then this must come to an end,
Stop! This must go, this soreness, nothing is worthy of,
Break the promises, break the rules,
Lord! For once please tell me, you will erase all the blues.

I am losing my belief in love, is there something in it called divine..
But that’s your presence, O lord!
If you exist there, then why didn’t I find you in here?
Or are you there, silent and quite, not making a move,
The ‘Us’ has changed to you and me,
Your blessings have been divided,
We stood together once, Now I stand alone,
With an empty heart, an empty soul,
Lord, help me to overcome this,
Help me recover from this, and so strongly that no one can,
Ever try to come again, Fill this emptiness with the faith I have in you,
No, Not with emotions, Just faith in you, I don’t want the love, I don’t want the pain,
I just want to surrender my soul to you.

I hope it's not a goodbye!! :'(

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Bible says,

Love is patient and kind,
it is never jealous,
love is never boastful or conceited,
it is never rude or selfish,
it does not take offence,
nor is it resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in others’ sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
Love does not come to an end. There are three things that last, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.

Am not broken, am not numb,
Am not tired, am not quiet,
Am too much in love, too much into you,
And am very much scared of not being with you.

Nothing can take you away from me,
You are here, within me,
The world is blind if it cannot see,
But who cares, I know you belong with me.

The truth is that its killing me, this life, this place,
It’s so barren, so pale, the air is so silent
It doesn’t touch me, it’s not passing through my hair
My heart is screaming, but my mind warns, ‘you dare!’

I promised to be strong, I promised to take care
I promised not to cry, at least make it rare,
But I didn’t promise to breathe, without you,
I didn’t promise to stop dreaming about you.

I remember your words, your promise that you’ll never leave
Your love is pure; it’s all what I have, all I believe,
It’s what I was born for,
It is what I am made for.

You are my umbilical to live,
You are the one I bow to,
Your love is my heartbeat,
Don’t let it stop; your love is what I need.

I don’t wanna be just a friend ,
No, it can’t, it cannot happen,
I want you, I want you to want me,
I want things to be back, I want you to be here,
I want you to hold my hand and say you’ll be there.

I want you to fall in love with me again,
I want to have you back in my life,
I want you to tell me, without me you can’t live!
I want you to say, you do love me.. you always did.

I still can’t believe that we stand on this turn,
The turn that life took all of a sudden,
I can’t believe that our grip was so weak,
We walk on the same road, not together, the nearness is bleak.. 

Time heals, but it erases as well,
You left, left me in tears,
Said that you’ll come, come back soon,
My wait has begun, my soul awaits from sun to moon.

I do not expect, I hope, all will be good,
But the fear deep inside kills, for the worst I am not prepared.
I hope the old times will be witnessed again,
With you I wanna live, live long and not die,
I hope all this is not real…
I HOPE IT’S NOT A GOODBYE!! :’(